


Life Reflected in Death

by M_C_Crocker



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Website: HPFanficTalk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 15:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16915296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M_C_Crocker/pseuds/M_C_Crocker
Summary: When faced with death Regulus cannot help but reflect on his life and the things that brought him to this point.





	Life Reflected in Death

_Long skeletal like fingers extended outward expectantly waiting for what it desired. An arm was steadily thrust forward showing a smug confidence befitting its owner. The black sleeve of the owner's robes was turned up exposing clean unmarked flesh. A firm grip was placed the thick wrist pulling the offered appendage forward. A pale wand lowered, letting off a faint glow as it touched skin, thin wisps of smoke rose upward. A sharp hissing inhale of breath punctuated the otherwise silent moment. A minute passed and the arm was loosed, now marked with a black skull eating a snake that wound around it. The owner of the arm flexed his hand a few times, leaving the mark unmoved._  
  
The Dark Lord moved to the next person, ready to repeat the process with the next young hopeful. Everyone here tonight were people Regulus knew and knew well, however he was the youngest. The pride of his parents representing in full force what was right and pure in the world. Of all the things they expected from him, after what happened with Sirius, this task seemed to be the easiest. Bear the mark of one willing to serve a greater purpose. Maybe this would buy him some time when it came to settling down in marriage and producing an heir, a task he was most loath to perform. With his older brother gone, it fell to him, all of it fell to him. If Sirius hadn't walked off abandoning him and the family, he could have quietly lived his life as he wished and be with a man who made him happy with none the wiser. But now? Now he was here pushing agendas that were not his own, forced into doing things he didn’t want to, all for the sake of family loyalty. If there was anything that could be said of Regulus Arcturus Black, he was resolutely loyal to his and his own, even at the sacrifice of self, something his brother could not manage, and in fact, did not grasp. That lack of loyalty hurt worse than the spell that was now being placed on his arm.  
  
The older man, the leader of the Death Eaters stepped back, a pleased look on his face. Their eyes met for a brief moment and Regulus swore he saw a darkness in them that was beyond description. Yet he shook the uncertainty from his mind. While he was doing this to please his parents, he was also proud himself. He was in favor of wizarding kind stepping out from hiding and ruling over Muggles. History repeatedly showed Muggles were hardly capable of ruling themselves. It was hard to miss all of the damage they had done in the world and were continuing to do. The Dark Lord moved to speak to his newly branded recruits. His voice was soft and yet commanding. It demanded all attention be paid to him and yet was almost welcoming like a warm and welcoming candle flame.   
  
The only problem was that flames, even the most welcoming ones could easily turn deadly and this one had. Regulus’ stomach churned a little bit as he followed Kreacher into the cave, having given his own blood to gain entrance. The man he thought the Dark Lord to be and who he actually was, were two different things. The truth tainted and soured his memories and he began to recognize some of the hints of truth he had seen in the past but readily dismissed.  
  
Inferni, dark rituals, evil potions these had no place in the new world regime he thought he had been helping to build. This had no impact on propagating the rights of wizards over Muggles. What world did the Dark Lord have in mind? It certainly wasn't for the betterment of wizarding kind. This was self-serving and worse - a Horcrux was involved.   
  
"The boat is here," spoke the house elf in his gravely voice, breaking Regulus's reprieve. He looked through the dim light his wand cast for the chain he had been told about. Finding it, he began to pull the boat toward them. He knew full well what this trip meant, but it was worth it. This was one time his older brother had been right all along.  
  
_A gust of air escaped Regulus' lips as he was roughly checked against the cold and unyielding stone of the castle dungeon wall._  
  
"You want to say that again?" demanded Sirius his face drawing dangerously close.  
  
"I think you heard me the first time," answered Regulus coolly, giving an uncomfortable shift under the pressure of his's brother's arm. "Do you actually enjoy fucking Mudblood bitches like Evans?"  
  
With a momentary slacked grip on behalf of Sirius, Regulus found himself making repeated contact with the wall, eliciting an involuntary grimace from him before he continued. It was stupid egging his brother on, but the words kept tumbling. "Sounds like I hit a nerve. I didn’t know you prized being with a slag over your own flesh and blood. That is where you were all summer, no?"  
  
"Leave Evans out of this - this has nothing to do with her," said Sirius with a low growl. "Just because you don't have the courage to leave home like I did..."  
  
"Courage? Ha! You took the cowards way out. I have no desire to leave home. I know where my loyalties lie."  
  
"With Voldemort? The mass murder? One day that love is going to get you killed."  
  
"No, brother, that will be you and your love for Mudblood slags." That was the last he got to say on the matter as his mouth was filled with the taste of blood, having received a left hook straight to the jaw.

 _It was the last he and Sirius ever really spoke._  
  
A frown creased Regulus' face as he looked out across the dim water. In the faint halo of light that his wand produced, he could just see the shore in the distance. His heart grew heavier with each pull of the chain that brought them closer to his final destination. If he were forced to admit the truth, he was scared. Kreacher had told him everything, and he honestly saw no way out for himself, but at least he'd have done his part, helped to bring an end to the evil he had blindly sworn allegiance to.   
  
He could feel the Dark Mark tingle beneath his skin, summoning him and the others, but he ignored it. By this time tomorrow he would be dead and the locket would be destroyed.  His family would safe. That is what mattered, keeping his family safe.  
  
The crashing of the boat against the shore of the small island startled Regulus from his introspection. They had arrived. He got out of the boat, careful not to touch the water. It would not do to wake the dead before he had completed the task he had assigned himself.   
  
"Kreacher, I want you to take this locket and switch it out with the one at the bottom of the basin once it is empty." He produced the replica of Slytherin's locket and handed it to the small house-elf, the creature who had been his one true friend and companion throughout his life. It was odd to think of house elf in such a way but it was true. Kreacher was the one being he could tell anything to and not fear judgment or his own words being turned against him.  
  
"Yes, master." Bony fingers reached up and wrapped around the necklace.  
  
“After that, you are to go home and never tell my mother what has happened to me. You must also find a way to destroy the locket. Do you understand?"  
  
Kreacher gave a sad look, but nodded his small head.  
  
"You are not to tell any of the family." Regulus had to be sure. It was the only way he could keep those he cared about safe. No one could ever know what he was about to do. Looking to the basin of potion, he knew what was next and summoned a goblet. Then he took in a quick breath of air and let it out just as quickly to try and steel his nerves as he scooped up the first of the potion to drink.  
  
Before he could question himself he drank deeply. It was like a stream of ice going down – it froze him to the core and landed like a punch in the stomach. He staggered a little before firmly grasping the basin. Plunging the goblet in again, he knocked back more of the potion, ignoring the rolling feeling his innards was giving him. He could feel the potion seeping into his system moving past his stomach, turning from ice into fire. It felt like his inside was being ripped out. He wanted to stop but didn't. He knew if he did he would never succeed, and he had to succeed.   
  
He repeated his actions twice, hoping speed would lessen the effects of the potion, yet he suddenly grew faint, almost spilling the potion as he gripped the basin once more. Everything swam around him as ice and fire coursed through his system. He could hear the faint call of his house-elf. Yet it seemed so distant and far away, like it was another time and another place. 

  
Another voice overpowered that of Kreacher’s. It was as cold and calculating as ever and sent chills down Regulus' spine despite the sweat on his brow from the burning fire of the potion.  
  
_"Fool! You think to stop me? You are doing nothing more than wasting your piteous life."_  
  
"No!" The horror in Regulus' voice was apparent he tried to swallow and found his mouth dry. The Dark Lord could not be here - he could not know what he was doing. He had to finish his task, if there was any hope of keeping those he was most loyal to safe this had to be done, even if the Dark Lord was present.  
  
It took sheer force of will on his part to plunge the goblet back into the potion to drink yet a fifth goblet full. He had to do this. If the Dark Lord was here and he wanted to stop him, he would. Yet, it was all in vain. If the Dark Lord really was here, then his family, his family would now suffer because of him. He had been found and he couldn't choke back the sob that escaped his lips. He had failed, he was going to fail.   
  
How did it come to this? Why did the entire family fate have to rest on his shoulders? He gave everything out of loyalty to his family and their ideals. He had to protect his own, but he wasn't supposed do it alone – Sirius was the oldest and he failed in his loyalty to his family, to him as a brother.  
  
_The stench of burned fabric hung in the air. It made Regulus want recoil at the smell as he saw the smoke still rising from the spot on the family tree where Sirius' name used to be. The black spot stung more than it should have. Sirius had been growing more and more distant, and as a result, more and more family responsibilities had befallen him in his brother's absence._  
  
"As I am sure you are aware, Regulus, you are the sole heir to the family Black," explained a very grim Walburga. "You have no brother and as such will carry on the family line."  
  
"The family line?" he asked as the words started to sink in his stomach twisting at the reality those words meant. A girl. He was going to have to marry a – girl. The thought twisted something in his chest. He couldn't continue to be with Thorfinn.  
  
"Yes, unfortunately your cousins are all married off…"  
  
Regulus cried out again, the memory agonizing as he recalled having to break the news to his secret boyfriend. He gathered just enough clarity to keep drinking the potion. He had to do this, he would not fail. He moved desperately to scoop another goblet of the accursed potion and a new voice broke over him.  
  
_"Regs - please."_  
  
Regulus nearly dropped the goblet that was in his hand. The name of his brother died on his lips, never spoken. Barely standing was a very battered and broken Sirius. He leaned to the left exposing his right eye that was swollen shut and black. A trickle of blood ran down the side of his face from a gash above the brow. His lips were limp and left arm hung misshapen and slack at his side.  
  
"No!" Regulus had to choke back emotion. As much as he hated his brother and was angry with him, he still loved Sirius. He knew what had happened. He knew what caused this. It was the Dark Lord - instead of punishing and stopping him directly he went after his family.   
  
"I -" he choked on his words, his gut aflame in agony, "- have to." Tears now streamed down his face as he brought the goblet to his lips once more. This was the only way. He had to stop the evil that was occurring. It was the only way the only way his family would be safe.  
  
As he drank he could hear the cry of torment that came from his brother's lips.  
  
_"How dare you defy me! Your brother will die for your insolence."_  
  
"Regs!"  
  
Sirius' head was knocked back as he fell back to the ground with a sickening thud where his body writhed on the ground as the wordless groans escaped his lips. Over him stood the Dark Lord, ash white wand pointed at him.  
  
Regulus fell to his knees himself reaching out a hand. "Stop!"  
  
He wailed and begged, "Just stop!"  
  
_The torment of his brother ceased and Sirius panted on the ground. "No more. Please, no more."_  
  
Regulus knew what his brother was meaning. The potion – the suffering would stop when he stopped. He shook his head. He had to finish. There was more at stake than just him.  
  
"Regs – please," breathed Sirius his one good eye never leaving his brother.  
  
A faint buzz played in Regulus' brain. "Master, Kreacher cannot get the locket. You must drink more."  
  
_"No!" rasped Sirius a feeble hand reaching out, shaking in an attempt to stop his brother._  
  
Regulus clawed his way back up the pedal stool. He didn't want to do this - he wanted this torment and agony to end. Forcing himself with every effort of his will, he plunged the goblet in for the final time. He felt ready to spew as he choked down the last of the potion. It was agony, worse than before like jagged shards of burning glass going down his throat as he heard one final piercing cry of his brother, and as the last drop was swallowed.  
  
Crashing down to the ground, Regulus blacked out. It was impossible to say how long he was out. Seconds? Hours? Time didn't really matter. What mattered to Regulus was how thirsty he was. Water. He needed water. Never in his life had he found himself to have such a need and the only source? The lake. Everything that Kreacher had told to him no longer registered there was simply a need to drink.

 

As he reached the cold, placid lake that was eerily peaceful he did not notice the singular ripple near the shore. He plunged his hand in to scoop up a drink to suddenly find his wrist shackled in the unyielding grasp of another.  Desperation to slack the unnatural thirst warred with the undercurrent of fear at the sight of more pale hands reaching up to pull him under. It wasn't until all his limbs were fastened in place and his face hit the cool water that reality suddenly and finally came into sharp focus. He was being pulled deeper and deeper and though he tried to struggle, there was no use. This was the end. It was here that he was going to die, and almost as a mercy his mind drifted to one last memory before the end.  
  
_Thunder crashed up above in congruence with a great flash of lightening, revealing small feet dashing across Grimuald Place. A door quietly flung open and young Regulus bounced on his brother's bed waking his older brother._  
  
"Wha-" Another crash of lightening lit the room and the fear on Regulus' face was apparent.  
  
"I saw a Grim, Siri! I know it I saw one!"  
  
'You're too young to see Grims," plaintively answered Sirius, budging over and moving his blanket for Regulus to join him.  
  
"But it was real! I don't want to die!" Regulus small voice was almost a wail before he hid his face at the next rumble of thunder and light.  
  
"You aren't going to die,” assured Sirius with a sigh as he leaned back to lay down again.  
  
“How do you know?” asked Regulus with a little pout, not laying down but staring at his brother and wincing slightly at the now more distant thunder.  
  
"I just do. If the Grim tries to come get you, I’ll stop him.”  
  
“You will? Aren’t you scared of him?”  
  
Sirius turned toward his brother and made a scoffing noise. “No, he’s just a dog. I’d take him on for you.”  
  
“I’m scared of dogs.” Regulus’ voice was a low whisper the memory of the large black Labrador trying to attack him played in his mind.   
  
"Yeah and I stopped that dog from getting you - same with the Grim. You're my brother, and brothers always take care of each other." There was a little pride on Sirius' face.  
  
"You always take care of me because you aren't afraid of anything."  
  
"True, but one day you'll get your chance and you'll help me like I help you. Now go to sleep."  
  
Regulus obediently snuggled down into bed next to his brother. "One day I'll help you."  
  
His eyes closed and the world around him with all its troubles and fears were no more. Regulus was at peace.


End file.
